


I Dream of Loki

by infinite_latte



Category: The Avengers - Ambiguous Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe - Crack, Loki isn't really evil, M/M, Wish Fulfillment, genie!Loki
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-29
Updated: 2016-01-01
Packaged: 2018-05-10 04:56:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,267
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5571877
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/infinite_latte/pseuds/infinite_latte
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“I’m going to offer you a bargain, Stark. How would you like ‘three wishes’? As you mortals would call them.” </p><p>That wasn’t the sort of countermeasure Tony was expecting. </p><p>“Alright, Jeannie, what’s the catch?” </p><p>“No catch. I’ll do anything within my power to answer to your wishes. All you have to do is promise not to use that infernal device on me again.”</p><p>(Tony accepts the deal and plot happens. Also, because I'm obsessed, each chapter is written using lyrics from a different Fall Out Boy song.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Phoenix

**Author's Note:**

> So this is the first fic I've uploaded on here. Actually, it's pretty much my first fic ever. So I appreciate criticism but please don't be too hard on me. I am a little OCD with grammar and punctuation, so if you find any mistakes pLEASE tell me. 
> 
> I don't write all the time but I'll try to maintain at least weekly updates for this fic. Sometimes I might upload quickly sometimes I might be late. Bear with me.  
> Oh, and I don't know if the rating will stay Teen and Up, we'll see. ;)
> 
> Also, there's really no special reason for the use of the FOB lyrics but they just fitted so well I couldn't resist.  
> The lyrics are bold, italicized and separated from the rest of the text with these: '**'.  
> Each chapter is titled with the name of whichever song was used also they're all from the Save Rock and Roll album if anyone wanted to know. 
> 
> Enjoy ;)

 

_**Cross Walks and crossed hearts and hope-to-dies.** _

_****** _

Loki has perfect timing.

It was just after Tony had ended another of his projects in the workshop (okay, so maybe he could’ve waited an extra night so Tony could get some sleep first) that Loki showed up. Not that Loki showing up is ever a good thing, but it was fortunate at the time. This is because Tony’s latest project was a magic neutralizing device, which now completed, only needed someone to test it on.

So, Loki: perfect timing.

He’d released some kind of… (Herd? Pack? Swarm?) Swarm of giant spider cookies into the city. Yeah, spider cookies. Like cookies the size of satellite dishes with eight licorice legs. Loki’s either running out ideas or he just likes being really original.

While the critters didn’t do much damage - and were probably edible - the city was infested with them. So the rest of the Avengers were busy diminishing their numbers and it was left to Iron Man to track down a certain God of Mischief. 

He found Loki watching the chaos unfold from the roof of a nearby building. He was eating out of a bag of his own bite-sized cookies like popcorn.

Loki barely glanced up when he landed, but did acknowledge his presence with his signature I’ve-already-won smirk.

“Asking me to stop them now is pointless, they’re already out of my control.” Loki spoke between bites of his cookie.

“Oh I’m sure, but I can still stop you from doing it again.”

This time, Loki looked away from the trouble he’d caused down below and stood up.

“Really? I’d love to see what new plan you’ve devised to do that.”

Not wanting to waste any time (or talk it up any more; he wasn’t sure if his device would actually work) he immediately activated the neutralizer built into his suit.

The reaction was instantaneous and Loki’s smirk fell from his face; the bag of cookies dropping forgotten to the floor. Though after being momentarily startled he recovered quickly, smirk back in place. Whether Loki was trying to hide its effects or what he wasn’t sure, but he knew it must have at least partially worked because his expression was strained.

“I’d say I was impressed with this accomplishment but really, Stark, for a so called genius it took you long enough.”

Tony eyed him suspiciously. “If you saw this coming, why not prepare something to counter it? ‘Cause to me it looks like you’re in a bit of a tight spot at the moment.”

“Oh, trust me. I have a countermeasure.”

Trust him? Now why would anyone ever trust Loki?

“Alright then, hit me. Give me your best shot.” Loki only smiled wider, that’s never a good sign.

“I’m going to offer you a bargain, Stark. How would you like ‘three wishes’? As you mortals would call them.”

That wasn’t the sort of countermeasure Tony was expecting. He’d been prepared for a disappearing act, hand-to-hand combat even, but a bargain? Not so much.

“Alright, Jeannie, what’s the catch?” Still not on board with the whole trust Loki thing.

“No catch. I’ll do anything within my power to answer to your wishes. All you have to do is promise not to use that infernal device on me again.”

“Promise? This whole bargain is riding on us both keeping our promises. That doesn’t sound very reliable.”

“Well for my part, once I make a magic oath I’ll endanger my life breaking it. For yours, using the device means said oath will be nullified, and you won’t get your wishes.” He spoke smugly like he knew he already had Tony hooked.

Really, he might have. Tony knew this was a bad idea but who could resist the thought of a God - let alone Loki - having to do anything you say? Evidently, not Tony.

“Do we have a deal, Stark?” Tony looked down at Loki’s outstretched hand, but instead of shaking it, raised his own to mimic drawing a cross over his chest.

“Cross my arc reactor and hope-to-die.”

_****** _

_**Wearing our vintage misery, no, I think it looked a little better on me.** _

_****** _

After deactivating the device that day, Loki had disappeared. Obviously Tony had made him complete the oath first, and it looked legitimate at the time. Though now it had been a week, and Loki was still a no-show. Tony was pretty sure he'd been played.

That is; until he did show.

It was far too early in the morning when Tony was rudely awoken by JARVIS. Well, he was excused just this once because there was a supposedly evil God in his penthouse.

For the moment, Tony stopped his AI from notifying SHIELD of this development. The deal with Loki was, of course, a secret. As was his now confirmed successful, magic neutralizing technology. So they wouldn't be on his back asking questions about why it wasn't being used.

He barely took the time to put on clothes before making his way to the lounge area. Face composed like the surprise visit hadn't startled him as much as it did. He found Loki reclined on a couch, book in hand, like he owned the place.

"I don't know about you, but this hour is usually ungodly for me. Why are you even awake?"

Loki folded the book shut and sighed.

"You're not the only one with uneven sleeping habits, Stark." The face Loki showed him gave nothing away, but something about his posture and the shadows beneath his eyes hinted at a darker reason for his lack of sleep.

"Tony. Just Tony will do. If this," he gestured at Loki's being in the tower, "is going to be a regular thing. Is it, by the way?"

"Only if you wish it to be." He smirked. Tony was amused by the trickster's suggestive comment but ignored it to move on with more important matters.

"So deal's still on then? I assumed that's why you're here."

"Yes, it is. I don't go back on my word." Tony still doubted that. "Have you come to a decision about your first wish yet?" Tony had, in fact, made a decision. Whether it was the right decision or not he wasn’t sure.

He’d debated over it for a while, seen as usually if he wanted something, he got it himself. So, asking for something he could use to his advantage against Loki was probably a smart idea. If he could also think of a way to keep his eye on him, that would be convenient as well. (He also had several other more inappropriate ideas – many of which included Loki, on his knees - but the other Avengers probably wouldn’t approve.)

It was that, or an infinitely refilling coffee cup that never went cold. And hey, he had three wishes, maybe he could have them all.

“I want you to be my bodyguard.”

Loki arched an eyebrow. Choosing his words cautiously, tony clarified.

“I wish, for the duration of our deal, for you to be my personal bodyguard: To do anything it takes to stop harm from coming to me.”

Rising from the couch, Loki performed an over-dramatic yet elegant bow. And when his face came back into view, his lips curved into a small mischievous smile that didn’t reach his eyes.

“Your wish is my command… Tony.”

_****** _

_**“You broke our spirit,” says the note we pass.** _

_****** _

Since making his first wish, Tony had become fairly used to Loki being a frequent presence in his life. There hadn’t been anything for the Avengers to deal with in the past week, so Loki hadn’t needed to join in any fights yet. (Also meaning no one knew about the deal still, he should really get around to telling them.) But apparently that didn’t mean there was nothing to protect Tony from.

The first time Loki made a sudden appearance, Tony was in his workshop.

He’d been testing some new equipment when he felt a cold wave pass over him. That was his only warning before he felt a cool grip on his arm that pulled and caused him to stumble back a couple steps. Less than a second later, a screw came loose from the machinery and shot straight through the space where he’d just been stood. Embedding itself in the wall instead of his skull.

His eyes widened and he turned sharply to the side, just catching a glimpse of Loki’s smirk before he disappeared again.

The next time was considerably less life-threatening.

He’d just woken up and ventured to the kitchen for his morning/afternoon wake-up coffee. It was only when he was bringing the cup to his lips that he heard Loki’s smooth, baritone voice.

“Wait.”

Tony probably would have dropped his coffee if Loki hadn’t already magicked it into his own hand. He was perched on top of one of the kitchen benches; feet dangling over the edge.

“Hey, what-” Tony didn’t get to finish that sentence because he was too focused on the actions of the god in front of him.

Loki casually brought the mug up to his own face, blew on it with one short, icy breath, and passed it back to Tony. He slowly took the mug back, and continued to stare as he took a sip. It was the perfect temperature.

“Is it to your liking?” Loki teased.

“Yeah… Um. Sorry, did you just cool my coffee for me?”

“It would have scolded your tongue if I hadn’t. You did say ‘do anything it takes’ to prevent you being harmed, correct?”

He had, Tony recalled, but didn’t think harm would include burnt tongues.

This could be fun. If Loki had to turn up every time he did something slightly harmful, he’d be seeing him a lot. This thought may or may not have inspired his next words, but mainly it was just impulse.

"Well aren't you handy. You know I could give you a temporary room in the tower, it's not like you're much of a threat as it is."

Loki narrowed his eyes at the last part, making Tony worry that maybe he was still a threat: he shouldn't let his guard down. However, his face then turned considering.

"Perhaps."

After that time, there had been many similar to it. Tony would almost stub his toe before Loki materialized out of thin air to warn him. Or after a significant time without sleep he would go to grab the soldering iron from the wrong end before Loki literally teleported him to his bed. That one was weird, not just the teleportation, but waking up in the morning remembering he was practically tucked into bed by the God of Lies, Mischief and Chaos.

Sometimes Loki would stay for a bit afterwards, and during those few days Tony had started to learn more about him. They still bantered back and forth like before, but more recently, with less threats. He'd also picked up that Loki hadn't had the easiest life, there were a few subjects Tony knew to stay away from, like his brother, for example.

Surprisingly enough, even though the others stayed in the tower, Loki hadn't been seen yet. Until he decided to take up Tony's offer of temporary residency.

He really had planned on telling Fury and the Avengers at some point, and maybe he'd been spending too much time with Loki, but he couldn't resist the temptation of letting them find out themselves.

So when it did happen, Tony just played along.

The whole team had congregated in the lounge room: Bruce sat reading in one of the armchairs, Steve at the table sketching, while Clint and Tony argued over what channel they wanted and Natasha and Thor bet over who would win. The argument got a little out of hand before Clint threw the remote.

Though before it could hit Tony, it stopped mid flight; hovering in front of his face.

Natasha was the first to react. Out of her seat like the shot she was about to put through Loki's head. Everyone immediately followed suit (bar Thor who just looked surprised); standing up and turning their full attention to the wall behind Tony. And if Steve holding a fry-pan as a shield was making it hard not to laugh, what he saw next made it harder.

Loki was casually slouched against the wall, looking like he hadn't a care in the world... Wearing one of Tony's rumpled shirts and a pair of slacks.

"I think it's about time we tell them, don't you, Tony?"

He couldn't keep the smirk off his face as Loki turned to him and winked.

"Tell us what?" Natasha kept her steady gaze on Loki, at the same time Clint shouted in horror.

"You slept with him?!"

Bruce left the room. Pulling his eyes from Loki, Thor addressed Tony still sat on the couch.

"Is this true, friend Stark? Have you been laying with my brother?"

The Trickster visually stiffened at Thor's words, but his voice was steely calm.

"That is not of your concern, Thor." He said this before letting the still hovering remote fall to the table with a clatter and teleporting out of the room.

The air between Tony and the rest crackled as they turned questioning glares on him; he shrugged. 

 


	2. Where did the Party Go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki participates in a battle on the Avenger's side for the first time. There's also a party.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd like to apologize for the kind of filler chapter but it needed to happen.
> 
> I'd also like to address that I have no idea where this fic happens along any kind of timeline anywhere or how much cannon stuff actually happened in this verse. There's a reason I called it a Crack AU (apart from all the stupid that is). So, I hope you can just kind of ignore it or make it up yourself. 
> 
> As a side note, I took some of the lyrics in this chapter a little more literally than the last. (I know they weren't meant literally in the song.)
> 
> Genießen ;)

 

**_I_ ** **_don't believe a word you say but I can't stop listening._ **

**_**_ **

The explanation didn't go as smoothly as hoped. It was when Fury was inevitably contacted that he started to regret making it a surprise. He was sure Loki was still lurking around somewhere; enjoying the theatrics while he left Tony to fend for himself. Not that his presence would have made things any easier in the slightest but it was the thought, right?

In the end he managed to convince Fury and all of SHIELD that his 'Bodyguard' deal was the most beneficial option. While Loki's hanging around the tower, he might be able to learn more about his magic and improve his nullifying device. Additionally, he can't launch any attacks on the city because when Iron Man is given the job to stop him, he can't fight back. He also mentioned that if he'd used the device in the first place it would have only been a matter of time before Loki broke it and escaped. They asked how long the deal lasted and how he was sure Loki would keep his end. He told them about the magic oath and that it would only break when he used the device.

He didn't tell them he had two wishes left.

Since the remote fiasco he hadn't seen Bruce or Thor. Bruce had probably been contacted by this point but Thor had most likely flown off to visit Jane and sulk. He felt a little bad when he considered the tattered state of Thor's relationship with his brother.

As he left the conference room that they'd been in he was joined by Loki as he continued to walk.

"Nicely handled. Your ability to lie is somewhat passable."

He feigned innocence. "What do you mean? I didn't say a word that wasn't true!"

"I assure you, you don't always have to speak to lie. Though I was hoping you would. I believe if you'd told Fury Barton's assumptions had been correct then he'd have tried to throw the punch he'd been holding back. In which case, I would have stepped in and things would have really gotten interesting."

"I bet. Where do you disappear to so fast anyway? You have a magic lamp or something?"

Loki scowled. "I have no such thing. Also, with the deal in place, you need only call for me and I'll appear." His evasion of the question did not evade Tony's awareness. He let it go anyway and played along.

"Oh wow, your my knight in shining armor."

"You do realize that makes you the princess." Loki spoke flatly with hint of teasing.

"Yes, but I'm a handsome princess."

"Believe what you will." A smirk played on his lips now.

"Aha! THAT, was a lie. Because I know for fact that I'm attractive." He smiled victoriously at the God. "Don't deny it, just accept it."

**_**_ **

**_Your naked magic, oh dear lord._ **

**_**_ **

"...what?" Tony stared in bafflement at his phone. It was the one he used as an emergency contact and the only reason he had answered the call from Fury.

"Stark!" Fury barked from the other end of the line. "Why are my agents naked!?"

"Sorry, can you say that one more-"

"You heard me the first time! I'm not repeating it again."

"Uh, I'm just trying to come up with a good reason why or how you think I'd have the answer to that question."

"I've got a good reason: it's because you had to go and make a deal with someone who was literally worshiped for fucking with people!" Even with Loki in the picture it still didn't make sense.

"Why would Loki want to undress SHIELD agents?"

A laugh erupted from behind him and he noticed Loki had wondered into the room.

Fury sighed in irritation. "That's what I want to know. Just get him to stop. The agents can't check up on him without clothes." The call ended.

He turned a judging and curious gaze on Loki.

"I didn't wish to speak to them." He said in way of explanation, still appearing amused. "I am currently unable to use violence to get what I want. So I had to be creative."

Tony scoffed. "Not that I don't find naked shield agents hilarious but sooner or later he's going to want to use the magic nullifier on you if you keep it up."

"I won't allow that to happen. It's solely up to you to break the deal or not."

Only when a real threat occurred would he be able to judge the worth of keeping Loki as a bodyguard. Until then, he'd think on what his second wish could be.

**_**_ **

**_I know I expect too much and not enough all at once._ **

**_**_ **

The opportunity for Loki to prove his worth came sooner than expected.

There was a disturbance with what had been reported as "robots with fucking Suns for eyes", and the avengers were called to assemble. It was probably Doom again. When they arrived at the scene they discovered the witness' report hadn't been too far from the truth. The humanoid and obviously mechanical machines stood a few feet taller than the average person. Approximately where their eyes should have been were two, violently flaming, spheres. Which would occasionally shoot out at a target, only to be replaced by another set of fire balls.

At first they were seemingly easy to take down; low range of attacks, slow to react. But soon it became apparent they weren't staying down.

It was a battle of durability.

He couldn't help wondering where Loki was, this is what he's meant to be there for.

"Has anyone noticed a weak point yet?" Steve's voice came through the coms.

"Nothing. My arrows aren't even scratching them and they're resistant to explosions."

"I've got JARVIS doing a scan now, Cap." He focused on just the robot in front of him so he could get a good read.

He watched the numerous aspects of the machine light up on his face-plate one after another. That's when he heard a muttered "Idiot." from behind him.

He shot a repulsor blast at the robot he was targeting and swiveled around in one swift motion to see another behind him drop limply to the ground. He studied it for a second before his face-plate flashed green; detecting a weakness.

"The eyes." Loki stated simply, stood next to the now motionless machine in full battle attire. "And for you, your back. I thought you'd know better than to turn it on your enemy."

Tony ignored that comment. "And where've you been?"

"You had it completely under control until now. There was no need for me to intervene." Loki shot a bolt of magic at the first robot. When it came into contact with the metal face it froze over and the fire eyeballs were extinguished. Glancing at the one on the ground he now noticed it also appeared frosted up. He was impressed with Loki's smart thinking, even if it was basic water - or in this case, ice - versus fire.

He let the others know about the weakness and that Loki had joined the fight, just as a heads up.

"Well you should stick around, that magic of yours is useful." Tony didn't mean for it to come out like that; like he wanted Loki to stay on their side. He didn't take the words back though, and he didn't miss the brief, vulnerable look that crossed Loki's face before he turned away.

They continued to fight, reasonably, side-by-side for the duration of the battle. They cleaned up the remaining robots fairly quickly once they knew their weakness, and especially with Loki's help.

It was a little hard to get used to at first, fighting alongside and not against Loki. However, commonly being enemies meant they were already fairly familiar with each other's fighting style. It wasn't too difficult to adjust to and after a couple more battles they were moving in a somewhat co-dependent manner. With a few exceptions where Tony would do something stupid and Loki would shout at him for making his job harder.

At first, the other Avengers were a little on edge too having the God on the field with them. They didn't waste much time getting over it though. And while it was probably because they trusted the deal and not Loki himself, it still worked.

Well except for Thor. He practically looked forward to the battles and was always really happy after a successful fight. Would attempt to thank or congratulate his brother for a good battle, and the last time he even got a reluctant acknowledgment.

Best of all though, Tony would consistently return free of a single scratch or bruise. There wasn't even the sore ache of his muscles that always came with the use of his suit; he felt great.

**_**_ **

**_Whoa, where did the party go._**

**_**_ **

At the celebratory parties, Loki had begun to show up when Tony had had too much to drink. Sometimes when there were other guests, it would cause a moment of panic before their worries were dismissed. This time though, it was a small gathering of just the Avengers and Loki had, surprisingly, joined them from the beginning. It was strange that his presence was easily accepted, even if he kept to himself for the most part.

They had settled around the lounges on the upstairs landing of one of the events room, and before long, it was approaching the early hours of the morning. Bruce, Clint and Natasha were having trouble staying conscious, Steve was still fully sober and Thor was absorbed in animatedly recounting a near death experience with Tony  providing drunk but witty commentary from where he was perched on the banister. Loki watched on from his seat at the bar.

"..And with all of my might I struck at his side and the beast was slain!" Thor gestured wildly to emphasize his victory.

A hand flew into Tony's face and he flinched backwards to avoid the blow, absentmindedly forgetting his current position.

In the next moment, Tony had disappeared from the banister.

A burst of noise awoke the three falling asleep as a chair collided with the ground, a loud "No!" resounded through the room and Tony swore.

In his inebriated state, Tony hardly registered the moment between falling and being caught. Then he heard laughter from the landing above him.

He looked up to find everyone lent over the railing wearing faces of amusement, excluding Thor who's expression was lined with concern. Clint was laughing so hard it looked like he was using the banister to keep himself upright. He frowned for a second, was him almost breaking his spine that hilarious? They couldn't be a little more worried for his safety? He made a mental note to be more appreciative of Thor's friendship, before realizing the situation he was presently in.

Loki was holding him... Bridal style.

He was fairly sure he heard the snap of a camera seconds before Loki lowered him to his feet.

Just as he was about to make some kind of snarky comment, Clint's laughter stopped abruptly with the sound of Loki's hardened voice.

"Thor! You imbecile!" His brother flinched at the brutality of his words. "Don't be so careless, you could have killed him!"

Thor started to speak in response but Loki didn't give him the chance; teleporting out of the room.

"I'm so sorry. He's right, I was being careless." Thor looked like he'd just ran over a puppy with his car.

"Hey buddy, it's all good. Just an accident. More mine than yours." Thor gave a small nod in thanks.

"Well, I think one life threatening accident per party is enough. Lets head to bed guys. Don't think I didn't notice you drooling in your sleep, Barton." Steve pointed accusingly at Clint while he passed him; already making his way out off the room. 

Tony did return to his bedroom, but instead of actually falling asleep, lead slightly bewildered on his bed. What Loki had said when he snapped at Thor was probably fueled by his dislike for him. He could have sworn he heard a thread of concern mixed amongst the anger though. 

This thought lead him to finally decide on his second wish.

 


End file.
